Within a week of returning to our shores, the Mini Spares Monte Mini attended it's first press engagement with Mini World magazine.

Mini World journalists are avid readers of Mini Tech News and give us flattering reviews each time they receive a new issue. Crisp folding stuff is not even needed.

We wouldn't be grand enough to think that Mini Tech News is in any way a competitor to Mini World, but we do sometimes cover similar material. Take for instance our Richard Ollerenshaw Italian Job story last year. We ran our piece in complete innocence, not realising that Mini World had been trying to get hold of the car for weeks.

Because of the vagaries of magazine lead times, Mini Tech News may well have a story on Mini World doing a story on our car before the Mini World story actually appears. Ho Hum.

The venue for the Mini World test day was the Army's MVEE test facility in Chobham, Surrey. Bill Sollis was the man doing the testing so we all felt quite at ease, because Bill is a good customer and friend of Mini Spares. Any suggestion of bias on his part must be dismissed straight away, and anyone seeing Keith Calver loading up Bill 's car with an exhaust system etc., would certainly have the wrong impression.

Bill has been making quite a name for himself lately. As arch rival to our own Myk Cable, he has given us some sticky moments on the circuits, and his journalistic skills have now been well and truly recognised by ears and Car Conversions and Mini World, where he has become a regular contributor. I have a feeling that Mr. Soli is will be hanging up his Fireman's helmet soon, to make full time use of his shiny racing one.

When I was testing at Chobham some years ago, I remember a makeshift rally stage beingMaybe it was because of this that the rally stage was closed down, but certainly the man in the control tower denied that any such thing existed, and could we please stick to the tar mac.

This was a shame, because I wanted Bill to take the car off-road to experience some of the driving aspects that couldn't be found on a two mile oval. The main differences between Bill's racer and this rally car can be summed up in two simple words: Torque and gearing.

A race engine spends much of it's time screaming over 6000 RPM because a racer competes around nice wide, gently curving circuits. Unless you have driven around a circuit, it is difficult to relate that feeling of space. The whole road is yours (no danger of unwelcome traffic here), and the racing line straightens out even the tightest bends. A race engine has very little need, therefore, of low down torque, because once it is off and running it just craves revs, revs, revs.

The Monte Carlo Rally, on the other hand, isone of the most demanding tests of low down torque imaginable, because it requires that you do Chris Bonnington impressions up the side of mountains, and around some of the most tortuous bends in Europe.

Low gearing then comes in to the equation because of the point and squirt nature of the rally. There are hardly any opportunities for going, say, 90 MPH, because there are hardly any straight roads to do it on.

Steep mountains, tight bends, short straights, stop start. Perfect conditions for low down torque and low gearing.

Enter the Monte Mini.

The main test circuit at Chobham is about 2 miles long and, because of it's banked corners, feels a bit like a large NASCAR oval - a total waste of time as far as the Monte Mini is concerned. 90 MPH, thank-you very much, good night. Luckily though, there is a cut through on the circuit known affectionately as the "snake", and it was here that we got the best out of the car.

Officially, these series of bends are to test the limits of a car's steering, but over the years motoring journalists and famous drivers have used them as a fun run, because they really are the weirdest and tightest bends known to man. They run for about half a mile through dense forest, with one clearing that reveals the army officer's golf club, and this scene has appeared frequently in television programmes and countless magazines. The bends themselves are simply outrageous. Forget 90 or 120 degrees, these go back on themselves, upwards and sideways like a wheel of death roller coaster.

Our photographer on the day, David Wigmore, tells of an occasion when he is in the back seat of a car driven by Damon Hill, with the editor of a woman's magazine doing in-depth things beside him. As they enter the snake, David captures on film a screaming frenzy from the passenger seat lasting fully thirty seconds, as Damon shows her the correct racing line.

I wonder how much she paid Wiggy not to print those pictures?

Bill wasn't trying to show off of course, but when he attacked the snake, he was obviously trying to take the car, and my endurance, to the limit.

I have been thrown around in fast cars before, but I still had to admit that this drive with Bill was one of the more interesting experiences. And while my chicken sandwiches seemed quite content to stay where I had put them earlier, I could imagine why our lady journalist had come over a bit queasy.

Ask Jason King how he felt when Art Markustook him for a spin around Castle Combe that time. 'That bloke is a serious nutter", Jason was heard to remark.

The Monte Mini's handling really came into it's own on those bends. The ride was the best I have ever experienced in a Mini in those conditions, and seeing Bill beaming from ear to ear, I guessed (correctly as it turned out), that he thought so too. The special Konis that had been made for this car were taking extreme punishment, yet everything seemed totally smooth and under control. Timo Makinen himself had supplied all the settings, so in this department at least, he obviously knows his stuff.

Mr. Sollis, meanwhile, had come out of the snake, and was now back on the main circuit. A quick whiz through the gearbox, and here we were at maximum revs in Fifth. Bill immediately became bored, because there was nothing more to do now for a mile and a half, and he started shouting things like "I can't believe this final drive." 'This car really is set up well isn't it?" "Do you fancy going round again"? This last remark seemed to cheer him up a lot, because he knew he would soon be having another play around the snake.

As he threw the car furiously around these crazy bends once more, I could feel him willing this car to lose it, but to it's credit, Monte Mini defied even Bill Sollis's best efforts, and hung in there like a limpet.

There's no point asking Mr. Sollis what he wants to find in his Christmas stocking this year. His final remark made his views clear enough: "I really must pinch some of these ideas for my racer".

If it's Thursday, it must be Fast Car. The next press day was held at Bruntingthorpe Proving Ground near Leicester, and the weather was not good; snow, followed by slush, followed by thick fog.

lan Strachan from Fast. Car was there at 11.00 am, together with photographer David Darby. All three of us spent a moment squinting into the fog, to see if there was any sign of the Monte Mini, and satisfied that it was going to be late, lan announced that we were going to make some sparks on the runway.

lan Strachan, you may recall, did a rather good story on Jason King's orange and white Mini in arecent Fast Car article, so I knew he wasn't completely mad.

A few minutes later, as I was hammering down the runway, with David Darby hanging out of the passenger window, taking pictures of lan with his leg out of the driver's door trying to stop his car with a large lump of metal tied to his shoe, I had to change my mind. He was completely mad.

As if this wasn't enough, a large grassy bank signifying the end of the runway had suddenly loomed out of the fog about fifty yards ahead of us, and I hit the brakes hard. About a year later, lan realised that he was just about to die and did the same thing, only with more smoke.

There must be an easier way of earning a living. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a throaty sounding Aston Martin burst out of the fog at about t 40 MPH and whizzed back into it again a half a second later, but I hardly batted an eyelid.It was just, I decided, going to be one of those days.

Bruntingthorpe is much in demand by the press and manufacturer's alike, because it has a two mile runway where it is possible to measure maximum speeds. Apparently even in the fog. The Monte Mini eventually turned up with various debris from the M42 attached to it's side. Luckily there was a good hose available, and very soon the star of the show was winking back at me and ready to do it's stuff.

The main purpose of the day was to get some good photographs for the magazine, but the rotten weather had put paid to anything glamorous. Then someone hit on the idea of finding a dirt track, so that we could do some moody off-road shots.

Eventually, we should be getting the Monte Mini and 8-port project car together for a joint test drive and photographic shoot - before Monte Mini goes to Japan (more on that iaterl). Fast Car will be running stories on the complete build up of the project car in their magazine (but remember you read it here first).

The moody off-road shots were enlivened by Tom Seal, who had obviously decided to compete for lan Strachan's madman of the day award. David Darby has asked our Justin to spin thewheels a bit, so that we could get some dirt flying around for his photographs. Justin gave a couple of spirited wheel spins, but Tom leapt forward screaming that the tyres were £80.00 a throw, and wouldn't it be better if he did it himself.

Mild mannered Tom Seal then launched himself into a series of wild and demented circuits of the surrounding area, over yumps, through lakes of mud and back to the end of the track, where each time he performed a hand brake turn (£ 160.00 gone), and a Will Gollop style victory spin (another £ 160).

After about five "laps" he came to rest in a large pile of mud, with clouds of steam and smoke rising into the gloom.

The most fascinating sight during all this, was the photographer leaping around trying to dodge the car each time as it flew backwards and forwards. (Tom shrewdly varied his route for maximum shock value).

"Well, if he told me where he was going .... ", pleaded the photographer, as the car whistled past his kneecap yet again.

Rob Thornley was with us for the day, and since he hadn't driven our car yet, we gave him the job of doing the speed runs up and down the runway.

Fast Car had attached a whizzo timing device to the wheels, to measure 0-60 and quarter mile times on the flat which, as I pOinted out earlier, is not really what this car is about. Now if it were 30-60 MPH times up a twisty 1 in 4 incline, that would give even the Aston Martin (still making brief, but alarming appearances) something serious to think about.

Earlier, while the car was being wired up, Rob was relating how the Monte Mini phenomenon was going down in Japan. Pages and pages have been written already by the Japanese magazines in the NEKO group, and I asked Rob to send me one. For the record, the best 0-60 time was 10.9 seconds, which didn't sound too fantastic, but when lan Strachan took it for a brief test drive he seemed genuinely impressed by how well the engine pulled, and how sure-footed the handling felt.

My final memory of the Fast Car day was the puzzled look on Strachan's face when I politely declined an offer of a ride beside him in the car. He obviously forgot that I had seen his new braking technique earlier in the day.

The Japanese "Car" magazine has a logo that looks remarkably similar to the British "Car" magazine, but I'm sure that's just a coincidence.

Inside is a mind-numbing 340 pages devoted to British and European classic cars. It seems to me that the Japanese have a kind of devotion to all things British that is, how shall I say, a teensy bit obsessive. Union Jacks are on nearly every page; adverts proclaim "genuine, made in Britain key fobs" as if they were rare collector's items, and very ordinary looking second-hand Minis change hands for £20,000.

A quick conversion is 100 yen to the pound, give or take a few noughts, and I have calculated the price of a 1977 Mini Clubman Estate MK1 (they say it was 1971, but the 'R' reg gives it away).

Now, I remember disposing of a 1977 Clubman Estate MK 1 a few years ago, for no better reason that it was a genuine rust bucket. This one, which only looks marginally better, but obviously isn't, is on sale for £14,500! Go down to the auctions, and book your ferry tonight.